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5 Ways to Handle Stress
Stress and problems are just a natural part of life. How you react and interpret stressful situations can have a great impact on you and your life. Here are five ways to handle life’s curve balls.
1. Don’t get “sucked” in.
Whose crisis is this? Is this self imposed, are you taking on too much or does this really require immediate attention? Can this be postponed or delegated out to someone more qualified for your ease? For example you may want to order gifts on line, have the dinner party catered, hire a cleaning person or landscaper for those falling leaves.
2. Take action.
If the situation does require your attention, over analyzing can be a waste of time and energy. Don’t let fear or worry paralyze you. Start moving and take action. Movement creates momentum and you’ll be getting closer to the solution. Try to break down large projects into smaller more doable chunks.
3. Sit back and let the “problem” unfold.
80% of what we worry about never happens. This is a conscious effort to not let this consume you until it is absolutely necessary. This is not to say you are ignoring problems, just waiting for your turn to get involved, if at all.
4. Look from the future.
Assume the problem is behind you and you are looking back on it. How do you want to remember the situation? How did you handle the problem?
5. Be Logical.
Take a deep breath and relax your body and mind. It is from this place that you will find the right answers and productive steps to handle the situation.
3 Easy Ways to Improve any Relationship
Relationships are all around us, from our family members to fellow colleagues to customers and to our friends. There are three easy things you can do today to instantly change the relationships in your life.
Listening
When was the last time you really felt you were heard? Many of us do not know how to really listen, to really hear what the other is saying. We are so busy with the chatter in our own heads, preparing what we are going to say at the first opportunity, that we do not hear what is being said. Therefore, the focus is on us and not on the one who is speaking. Take the time to lean in and hear every word that is being said. Let it sink in. You may be very surprised by what you hear.
Asking
Asking good question lets the speaker know you are engaged and interested. What do you ask? Be curious about what they are saying and telling you about. Make no assumption about what you know about the subject matter. Stay away from questions that start off with why. This one word makes people defensive and they’ll instinctively feel the need to justify their actions or beliefs.
Making Time
Relationships need attention. If you don’t make time or room in your busy schedule to grow any relationship, they will shatter and crumble. People need to know they are cared for and wanted. Think of how an ignored puppy acts up.
Summary
If your desire is to have better relationships with those around you, such as your children or customers, then it will require a bit of effort on your part. If you implement any or all of the above steps you will be amazed at how the relationships around you will begin to change and grow. Be the first to make the changes you would like to see in others. By doing so, you will create a standard that you would want to live by.
Achievement thru Goals
Goals or achievements are clearly defined destinations. In order to get there, you need to know and decide where you’re going. So, where do you want to go? What is it you’d like to achieve in your personal and professional life?
Why set goals?
Setting goals allows for personal achievement, building your confidence and the learning that occurs along the way. Here’s how to get on the right course to completing your goals.
Write it Down…on paper.
There is something almost magically that happens when you write your goals down. A subtle message is sent to your subconscious and you’ll start moving in that direction. Looking at this list daily you’ll increase your chances and speed of achievement. Start visualizing the end result, see it in your mind and feel it like it is yours.
Obstacles
Be aware of the roadblocks that might get in your way to slow you down or prevent you from getting to the finish line. Awareness will help you plan ahead and avoid those stone walls, which are there to help you fight for what you really want.
Plan of Action
Determine what you need or how to get there. This is the plan, which can be modified along the way. Don’t get paralyzed by over analyzing the details. If you want to further your education, get online and look at schools, apply for the program, talk with the teaching staff about your goals. Any direction and movement is better than none.
Do It
Just like Nike says. Movement and action causes momentum. Doing something everyday is your daily baby step. Deciding to lose 20 lbs is done ounce by ounce each day.
Re-evaluation
Continually check your course. Answer these questions frequently. What action did I take today toward my goal of______? What will I do tomorrow?
Summary
The achievement of your personal and professional goals increases your confidence, improves your self esteem and opens the doors to new possibilities. Start out small and build on your success and confidence to bigger and better goals. Stop living small and safe. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Habits for a New You in 2009
2009 is just around the corner and with a new year brings new hope and new beginnings. Are you already thinking about your resolutions for ‘09’? How’d they work for you last January? Why not try something different-develop new habits.
Habits are the things you do subconsciously or on auto pilot. The rituals you have, such as exercising, smoking, negative thoughts or saving money determine where you are currently in your life. Successful people are successful because of their daily practices, such as being punctual, reading and socializing with people like themselves. Habits are the foundation of your success or what’s holding you back.
New habits can be formed within a short period of time depending on the frequency the behavior is repeated. Daily habits can be locked in sooner and with ease than compared to a weekly ritual.
Evaluate:
Take inventory of the habits you currently have. Determine what habits you need to best serve you and pull you forward or in the direction you want to move in.
One at a Time:
Pick one habit to work on and lock in per month. You can have 12 new patterns for success by the end of 2009. Think about how far you could be with new or revised routines.
Plan:
Pull out your day planner, on the first of each month write in an appointment for your new habit as a reminder. Concentrate on that one new pattern. At the end of each day, ask yourself how did I practice my new habit today? How will I enforce it tomorrow?
Summary
The routines of your past are the foundation to your successes or disappointments. Make a conscious decision this year to develop new and improved rituals. Don’t underestimate the power of strong, quality habits to automatically pull you toward a fulfilling and successful life.
PINK SLIP Proof Your Job
We are living in a tough working market, where unemployment rates are creeping up to all time highs. Many people have found their positions cut, companies once strong in the market are now closing their doors; others are beginning to get nervous and their fear levels are rising. People are finding themselves in unfamiliar territory, trying to reinvent themselves in a down job market.
So, how do you separate yourself from the pack? What can you do to increase your personal value? What do you have control over? When the budgets get cut, you don’t want to be the one eliminated. Here are three simple strategies to protect your job, improve your professional reputation and prove that you are a valuable team member that is irreplaceable.
Increase your Value
“That’s not my job,” eliminate these words from your vocabulary. With all the downsizing and budget cuts, everything just became your job. Take the initiative to learn everything you can at the position you are in, which includes your boss’s duties as well. You want to become indispensable. You want to become the go to person when someone has a work related question or a problem; become the specialist.
Recreate your position, adapt the job description to the current market. Analyze the current processes in your office, are there things that can be streamlined or eliminated all together. Develop a plan and present it to your managers. This will show initiative and that you are concerned with the bottom line.
Make it a point to be sure your employer is getting good value with you. Eliminate as much overtime as possible. Show that you can work hard and get your tasks done within the eight hour day. Help out where needed, answer phones, take orders, help others and work on new projects. What other services can you provide?
Increase your Visibility
Don’t bury your head in your work, it isn’t enough these days. You need to be seen as well as heard. Make yourself known, not just by those that are in your direct working area; those higher up need to know who you are and the contributions that you make. Do not be shy about your accomplishments and skills; be your own PR firm.
Showing up early for work, meetings and appointments shows punctuality as well as dedication, but make sure that your thoughts, opinions and great ideas are heard. When attending an industry event be sure to network and share ideas. Upon returning to the office summarize the event for your department and managers with what you learned and how it can be used in your office.
Remember, you are a company’s ambassador when attending conferences or any function outside the office. Refrain from gossiping and speaking badly about the company or fellow workers.
Increase your Ease
What are you like to be around? Moods are very contagious and positive optimistic people are more pleasant to be with. Understand this isn’t just about smiling and being happy; be the leader in your group. Mentor and encourage those you work with. Be willing to share what you know with others, along with sharing the praise and accomplishments.
Be flexible and dependable. This means doing what is in the best interest of the company. Are you needed to work various hours or in other departments? Volunteer for various projects that others hesitate on and finish projects and reports in a timely manner.
Being successful at your job today, is not enough in today’s market. You have much more to consider and improve on than just your actual work. You need to work on yourself each and every day. Demonstrate your value constantly, use every opportunity to get visible and seen by the people who make decisions about cuts and be easy to work with. These steps will improve your reputation and hopefully prevent you from holding your own pink slip.
Will the BEST You Please Stand Up !
What is confidence? You can't see it, touch it or buy it; however, you can feel in with in and see it in other people. It's an energy and a belief system about yourself that is similar to a muscle, growing and getting stronger or shrinking and weakening.
What would you try if you had more confidence? How would it change your life?
Most people are confident in some areas of their life compared to others. Here are a few tips to gain confidence in any areas of your life.
YOUR BODY
Our bodies react to our emotions. Think about how you hold yourself when you are sad, depressed, excited or in love. Stand taller, shoulders back, chin up. Get your body to respond and you will begin to feel it from the neck up.
MODEL
Find someone talented in area you want to learn or master, someone who exhibits the confidence you desire. Then simply do what they do, study them like an actor or actress does before a movie is filmed. Act like you are them until your own confidence n this new area becomes your own. Get into character!
MUSIC
Ever notice how music can evoke emotions? What songs energize you and make you feel good about yourself? Is it the words or the beat? Make yourself a playlist for your ipod or create a CD. Listen to your music selection and get yourself into peak mental condition for the task at hand, whether it's making a much needed phone call, giving a presentation or entering into any new environment.
DRESS
Got a favorite pair of jeans or heels? Like the way you feel in certain suits? It might be because it's the perfect color for your eyes, in style or fits you like a glove. Wear whatever makes you feel like a million bucks!
Confidence comes with time and stretching beyond your comfort zone. You've gained this self assurance in many areas of your life throughout your life time. Take stock in what you have done; your success. Gain a little more confidece in other areas of your life that you've only dreamed about until today.
Laurie-Ann Murabito, CPCC, ACC is a Results and Leadership Coach, Author and Speaker who helps companies and individuals by empowering them to make the changes they want for their unique situations. She is available to speak on various topics. For more information call
603-765-6145.
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